A year without her

27th December, 2007. The worst day in the history of any nation. 

It was a cold day, nothing much happening, except for the worries that the practice of suicide bombings have touched Lahore as well. Just a couple of weeks ago, FIA building had been hit with a suicide bomber. Many people lost their lives in it. I had a meeting at the clients office, and we planned to go their at the end of the day. My house was quite close to the clients office and I totally forgot that after the meeting I could straightly go home. So rode in a colleagues car and left my car behind at the office. On my way I realized that I have proven to be stupid enough to leave the car behind, as there was extremely ridiculous rush on the roads. 

Some how the topic of politics came in, and the two people sitting with me in the car, obviously NOT her supporters were arguing and blaming everyone in this world for what shit is happening to themselves. I kept my tone low, and tried to explain what my thoughts are about. Anyways, who is going to understand, common sense is not common here.

At clients office the meeting went well. It was almost after 6:00PM when I got a call from my wife. She told me that Mohtarma was in liaqat bagh doing her speech and a bomb has exploded over there. She said she is hanging up to check out what actually happened. We finished the meeting and got out of the clients office. Just half a kilometer away, a colleague of mine got a call from her home. And she announced, Benazir is dead.

I could not believe it, and I couldn't hold it in myself, and i shouted loudly and all the bad words came out of my mouth for those bastards. YES THE ESTABLISHMENT bastards. They killedher, they killed her. But somewhere there was a hope in my heart that may be the news was wrong, may be it was a nightmare. My colleague said she is at hospital and probably no dead yet. It gave me so much hope, as if someone has once again poured the life in my body. But Alas! it was not wrong. She was no more, she was the Martyr.

A year has passed but the heart is still expecting that she might pop up at the TV screen live and say something. Say something to soothe this nation who has probably lost the final hope of a better life. Yesterday they were showing her on every channel, ever where she was there, haunting us with her memories. 

Today I feel helpless and ashamed of the fact that she being a woman sacrificed not only her's but her whole family, and left her kids and husband's life in danger, for whom? for Us. But what I did. Nothing!

I don't want to say big words for her, as everyone nowadays is saying that. All TV channels, even the people who once hated her, are faking but still appreciating the contribution of that larger than life human being. She was actually a super hero, she was more than any super hero.

Today I promise myself, that I will do something, something for the party. Something for the country. So that while she look down on the earth should not feel that she gave her life for nothing, it absolutely should worth it.

Rung laye ga shaheedoun ka lahoo...